I just got my new glasses and oh my god these are hella cool.
Nick if you are reading this and I’m gone it’s because I transcended this plane of existence to one notably more radical.
It’s been real.
I had to write a note at work:
"THE REAGENT KNOWN AS VITAMIN D IS NOT IN THE PLACE DESIGNATED TO BE THE PLACE TO STORE THE REAGENT KNOWN AS VITAMIN D. THE ONES KNOWN AS WAREHOUSE GUYS MUST BE NOTIFIED SO THAT MORE OF THE REAGENT KNOWN AS VITAMIN D WILL BE BROUGHT TO THE PLACE THAT THE REAGENT KNOWN AS VITAMIN D SHOULD BE."
I know who I work for.
People who like Destro more than Cobra Commander are exactly the kind of people who scrape frosting off cupcakes before eating them.
monobey replied to your post:GI Joe is a dumb show for big dweebs, don’t touch…im gonna touch u with my juice covered hands
git outta my face dweeb
JUICE HANDS ATTACK
NOT JUICE, IT’S BUTTERSCOTCH!!!!!!!
It’s probably nonsensical but you guys have no IDEA how much Broni Friendzoni infuriates me, as a New Jersey guido.
I mean, I have some self-awareness here. Being compared to Jersey Shore? Whatev, this happens enough times. Realizing I lost a great uncle in a “tragic rollerskating accident”? That’s life. Having an uncle Vinnie? Seriously.
BUT I HAVE SOME LAST SHRED OF DIGNITY. And maaaaaan it’s gotta be not having even the lightest of ties to the kind of “nice guy”, friend-zoning, fedora-wearing shitstains I’ve fought against my entire life.
TLDR, even guidos don’t want to be affiliated with asshat bronies.
Oh my god, you guys.
So today I went out to get my hair done. While I was sitting at the bus stop this guy came up and started hitting on me, saying he was brand new to the United States and didn’t know his way around.
Eventually he gets around to telling me that he’s a “real” gentleman. He then asks me, “why don’t American girls like nice guys?”
I says to the guy, “Probably because they expect to be treated like kings for treating girls with nigh-mediocre human decency.”
He just stared at me, slack-jawed.
"They also don’t have butts", I added, as I got off the bus.
THE BEST PART? I KNOW THIS GUY OUT OF MAKE-UP. AND HE CERTAINLY IS NOT FOREIGN.